About Jackie
I’m Jackie Peckoff, my whole life I had been a very productive person. Until the age of 32, I had a 21-year work history as an office manager in the textiles industry. Like you, I loved the freedom and feeling of being productive and being surrounded by friends and family – but imagine losing those friends and being told that you will never work again?
I first “officially” became ill when I was 32 years of age. Although looking back, I remember times as a young girl feeling depressed and withdrawing to my bedroom. Those feelings never quite went away. The pain and anguish I felt was overbearing. We all have days when we feel down and don’t want to get out from under the sheets in the morning – but imagine feeling such despair that those sheets feel like the weight of concrete? It got so bad that I would do anything to get out from under the concrete weight, so bad that I would rather die than feel this pain. I attempted suicide a number of times before I was first hospitalized.
Luckily I survived and returned to work but as the years passed I was hospitalized once again, but this time things were different. I was told by the doctors that I would never work again, and that I would spend the rest of my life in the hospital where I was chemically restrained and where electric shock treatment was a legitimate form of therapy. My life could have ended that day, but I had a work history and couldn’t imagine not being productive. In order to leave the hospital you had to have a plan and I heard other patients taking about Fountain House, the very first Clubhouse.
That was the first day of the rest of my life. One of the first things I noticed was that there were no guards at the door gangling their keys ready to lock me in. Plus I was surprised to learn that I could choose my own staff worker. At the hospital you had to take whoever you were given and with my luck I was always given Nurse Ratchit! But here I was treated with dignity and respect. I was wanted needed and expected to participate. As the years passed I became more and more involved with the program and regained my confidence as a result I was able to return to work and meet new friends. I was soon able to travel around the world and tell my story.
Now that I’m retired from work, I spend a lot of my time at the Clubhouse International and I am proud to say that I have now been a member of this global movement for over 30 years.